MY FIFTH ELEMENT

time passes, and i can really say that i’ve been so happy nowadays…with overwhelming affection coming from my better half. but knowing me, i can’t help but make some self evaluation on what really happend to my life these past days, weeks, months…and years. i had may precious moments, to treasure, to share and to take care of, specially now that i’m settled and organized…back to reality i must say…and now everything’s flowing smooth…but is i looked back, a blurred image really bothered me…

—opppsss!!! i regret on something or should i say someone…yah!!something new and for you, here’s a page i made:

-i regret the day that i let you into my life, for your the nail on the cross that i once bear

-i regret the moment that i decided to be with you, for now i realized im happier if i made the right choice back then

-i regret the days that we shared, the cold nights, coffees and beers…for im drowned with lies and pretentions

-i regret the fact that you knew my friends, that i introduced you to them, for they expect that you’re true, but now, the true color came out..you’re a fake

-i did regret the day that i said you’re my life, for i died and became rotten

-i regret the days that i begged for your return, for the tears that fell, for the drunken moments and sticks of cigars…for you’re a worthless being destined to be alone

you pretend to be a redeemer, a dark man of steel, a person who can bend bullets…remember, all heroes died alone, so take out your cape and mask…i had my misery at its best…it will evolve, and when it comes to you, you will shout, but nobody will save you…and that’s you weakness…you will wish death will come, but even death will turn her back on you

bitter??!!?…nah!!! im better now….thanks but no thanks

ive been so silent for a ver y long time…yes, i know that i stopped blogging for about 3 months i think. well, let’s just say, i went into hybernation…and searched myself again.

but this time, i didnt do this alone…for i remember what my mentor told me:”in life sometimes, moving forward is not the only way, u need to step back and look forward…with that you know u havent miss anything special”. and i almost lost one precious part of me, who became what i am right now…for not all strenght comes from the strong, for not all dreams comes from words…most of them, come from the sprit.

she never left, she is patient, she loves me the way that i wanted to be loved…and no part of my day and i mean not a moment…that i never feel that im loved. its so cute to think that our love started in a development process…not by force…not by criteria…but something even more senseful than just being strong…for what is strength if ur shell is hollow.

and what’s most special is…we never count time…we just laughed knowing that it is almost 3months since we started life and love…and it keeps on growing with our elders guidance…

To you Razch…thanks for the life and the purpose you gave to mine. and i promise that my love for you will be yours only, and it will grow more, as we grow old…and our teeth will be lost.

the world is the biggest gambling venue…for all people make decisions, critical decisions and our lives are at stake. every decision we make, makes a big difference at how we will breath, see, feel and appreciate life. Some old saying says even a small decision can create a big change.

Well, i guess these are all true. I’ve been a life gambler for all these years. I cant count how many times I put my life at stake and took endless risks and leap of faith…i won big, i lost big…felt the pedestal, fell in hell and rise again.

…but in this game of life…”it is not how much winnings you have at your hand, but it’s the correct timing…when to go on and when to stop”

and i stopped from here…because i realized, it is not just lucky charms…it is still what’s written in the book of life…that every person is connected to another…that I am the answer to one’s question as well…

Thank God i made a full stop after the big risk…now, I know I won the game…BIGTIME…

simplicity is the scenario where everything flows without any hesitations nor regrets. it is a point in time where people tends to bend what the society has established. it is a moment where everything runs with ease…as the world revolves slower than usual.

easy to achieve? think again…in this world where prejudice is part of life…simplicity is close to dreaming…you want a simple life, then your needs change…you want a simple man or girl? you find yourself hugging a huge oak tree…you can live with bread? you cant even breath without a cup of rice on you plate

well, maybe you’ll be asking yourself, how pesimist i am…but to be honest, i found my sanctuary in this way of dreaming and hoping…i did found a rare kind…where everything flows with ease and all things are being done without force…it complies with nature’s law of living…breath in…open mind, pure heart…then breath out…

and now…happiness is just a smile away…a gud talk…a mouthful of interesting experiences to share…and a bunch of smiles, cuddles and overflowing trust.

…..and the funny thing about it is… she is simple…and she’s mine…

….and this is US

Solemness…such a word that i haven’t used, a description of perfection it seems…and i felt blessed, really blessed for having a bump, and stopped…i was moved…and im glad it’s with her.

everyday seems to be a spiced day, waking up smiling…having a text of good morning and texting back. routinary??!?, guess not…guess that it is what u call, a platonic reflex. we wanna start the day right, and we start it and end it with each other.

i dreamt of having a beloved where i can put my full self, without any hesitations, whom i can also consider mine, and me as hers-a person whom i can give my full trust not as an obligation but as a part of us, and i mean US. yah, i know, as the law of nature says, all of us are destined to someone…well, i guess, i have mine already.

for she wears the smile that i can look at for my entire lifetime. she has the smile that can ease my sadness and hopelessness. she has the words that can push me to wake up for another day. she possess the sweetest voice that can freeze me off my feet, and she has the love that i can describe as “a dream come true”

now, as we live another day together, i cant imagine anymore another moment without her face, hearing her voice or just reading her text messages on my phone. she is my completeness, and she’s the only one who can fit on that.

the saying is right…”it is crazy when you love and you tried to pull over the wheel, but it is crazier and better when you push and go with the limits of life…together”

what can i say…we’ve been blessed by the divine…and it is a bliss

It started out with simple jokes, then complex jokes and neverending laughters. she wears the loudest laugh i can imagine and she wears it with ease. her smile is my taste of morning dew, and it is my every reason now for waking up smiling…it’s been a long time, one year to be exact, that i never smiled during the morning…and then, she came…at the right place and time and moment.

her presence makes me move effortlessly, and her voice is so strong it’s a music to my ears. what you see is what you get…and that’s her best asset. she wears a pair of eyes i dreamt of seeing everyday, and her hands can take out tireness and grief–and all i think every moment is seeing her again and again. we do things with comfort, and not being forced to do. they just come out everywhere, and we can start the day and end it both smiling

i know it’s just starting out, and maybe there will be fights, petty quarels and misunderstandings…maybe there will be walkouts, no calls, no show in the future…but to be honest, i really dont care. i know what i want, and i want her and her alone, and i love her and her alone. she is one damn happiness i dont want to go away…and i will do everything to make her stay and to make that smile and laugh and dimples always appear on her face.

…after a long time of waiting, hating and waiting…i know that what i found now is true…and what i feel is unimaginable. and after a long time waiting, i will give my life again…with a clean slate, and i’m happy…truly happy.

before i start my story…please, let me tell you that im really not a "branded" person…but this particular incident really got unto my nerves.

i’ve been a gud fan of havaianas since i got my first pair way back 2006, when gwen gave me my first good flipflops…not really a full blown collector, i can say i have some. i do love their comfort and the colors, so when i lost one of my havs during our batangas getaway…i felt i lost one of my foot investment.

this has been my latest pair…i bought it about 2 months ago. gianne and jaymee has been my barometers, since they are the peeps who keeps  on saying me "bakit sa chinelas ka pa magpapakamahal"…coz they are sensing that im already getting hook to it…until this day

check this hav’s. i bought it for my dear bro…and he was damn happy because he got his first pair. but when i gave it to him, he said "kuya, asan n yung paper bag?" that gave us a big laugh because the flipflops were in a white plastic bag!!

YES! it’s a fake…we bought it at 168 mall at divisoria when gianne and me had a quick mini-shopping. imagine you have been cheated and they stole at least 800 pesos in every pair (coz this piece only cost 200 pesos..darn!) and it is the talk of the mall that moment and people are buying and buying it..whoa!!

I i just had a big laugh when G teased me…but being a fan…it’s quite a big deal…and even the dealers of these fake pairs were looking at our feet because we are wearing real havaianas that time!

…That’s Filipino craftsmanship for YOU! DARN!

…and i wish i just haven’t seen it

when we met last november and even before the set-up, she became my second air on my thoughest times…she is the one who brought me up and gave me a good reason to push more unto my life. her words were songs of my soul, and i felt so blessed. now she did it again on this tough time of my life, a silent friend…but my true friend…and she is really my other leg–

when i read her message on my blog, i smiled and felt a sudden relief. we can speak even if our lips were tied…may thats real friendship…and i thank God for bringing cristina enriquez tillada in my life, and i thank her beloved half for taking care of her. THANK YOU SO MUCH…

how to take life according to her?? this is so amazing…it’s worth the reading

never say enough… there is no knowing if the love you gave is even half of what you took. saying "goodbye", invites "i miss…", until oneday, you’ll realize, you wish that you could have stayed longer …enough to see the flower lose it’s color, than never knowing if the bud even ever bloomed. that bouquet will somehow lose it’s fragrance, be ready to wonder how long the leaves may have lived, if you decide to lose patience counting the days. take your time. give them the smile they wish to display, when that time comes. give all the love you can give while they can still afford to say how proud they are of you. give them the chance to tell you that you are a good sign that whatever mistakes they made in the past, they are still in the right path.

Procrastinator-(noun): One who procrastinates, or defers the performance of anything. Cunctator, Postponer, delayer

False Critic-person incapable in judging of the merits of literary or artistic works; a abconnoisseur; an adept; hence, one who examines literary or artistic works, etc., with false evaluation and judgement

TO YOU…who wants to be the "antagonist"..read between the lines…but what can i say…your way of thinking is just like a balloon..nothing but air..just air…and for you…

it’s way beyond the line..so go F*CK yourself